Monthly Archives: February 2006

last day

so this is the last day before moving. man my back is sore. the tv weighs about a ton and i had to move it 3 times yesterday taking apart the entertainment stand. got to leave for work now in a few minutes. this will be the last time im on here for awhile what with moving and getting everything set up at the new place. not sure how thats gonna work yet. man is it cold out today. what a great way to start the week.
 
so good luck to anyone whos doing the same at the end of the month. take care and ill see you around sometime. wish me luck. ill probably need it. haha. later.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

riddle me this

what good is protection if you dont use it?
what good is a spare tire for the flat on your car if you dont change it?
what good are glasses to someone who needs them if they dont use them?
what good is food if you dont eat?
what good is sleep if you dont get any?
what good are colors if youre blind?
what good is music if you are deaf?
what good is life if you dont live it?
what good is love if you have nowhere to put it?
 
do you know the answer? you should. its easy. the answer is…
nothing. none. zero. zilch. zip. nada.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

you ever feel like youre gonna snap?

i have never been so stressed. honestly i cant remember the last time i felt this way. i have a new job to contend with. the kids fight like animals at night( what am i saying at night, they fight all the time). the landlord here sold the house, so we had to find a new place, which we did, better place but higher rent, have to get a truck to move and buy fuel for the furnace, move all the stuff, and i cant lift and do the stuff i used to do cause i got a bad disc in my neck. so many friggin bills, got to get some furniture and find a dryer somewhere. there never seems to be enough hours in the day and no matter what i do, when i think im a little bit ahead with the money, something else comes along that i have to pay for that puts me right back in the hole. plus the ex and i have a confilict in our schedules and im not even sure yet who will watch the kids when that happens.
 
thats all i got to say. im tired. im going to bed. tomorrow it starts again. joy.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

St. Valentines Day

to be in love is to be in a perpetual state of anathesisa.
 
Henry Louis Mencken
 
 
 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Two Trees

i saw two trees
bent by wind and weather
like they were trying to touch
trying to be together
 
their leaves falling like tears
branches like outstretched arms
reaching for each other
straining for a little warmth
 
as if they could uproot themselves
and come to each other
but roots can be stronger
than the call of a lover
 
forever frozen in time
pulling an invisible teather
mercy would be to cut them down
at least then, they could be together

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Four Steps Down To Heaven

four steps down to heaven
walking across the floor
you didnt even notice me
like i wasnt there anymore
 
picking thru someones charity
with no intentions
of finding a treasure
something worth a mention
 
im constantly paying
for everything ive ever done
i thought you’d smile when you saw me
i thought it would be fun
 
you cant cross an imaginary line
sounds crazy but its true
so i held out my arms and waited
waited to be held by you
 
and you held my face
and pressed your cheek to mine
and instructed me on how its done
and not to cross the line

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Enigma

She’s looking out across the water.
What is she waiting for?
Arms to wrap around her waist,
Enclosing her like the comfort of a warm blanket?
 
She has dreams
Grounded in realism
Reality is materialism
Happiness is sharing
Trust and caring
 
She’s looking back across days
What is she looking for?
All good things were lost
And found once again.
 
She’s always out of breath
Moving on to the next
Looking for the best
Happiness is being together
Knowing without speaking
 
There’s an enigma in her eyes
Staring leaves you wondering and scared
Lost when they turn away from you
Is’nt it funny how we see what we want to and not what’s actually there.
A mystery wrapped inside a riddle.
Enigma.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

bad start

its pretty bad, when the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning, is "I cant wait till tonight to go to bed" hehe. what more is there to say than have a good day.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Myth of the Back Pocket Gift(or how to stick your foot in your mouth in one easy step)

the myth of the backpocket gift.
here’s a question. whats blue and black, about 4 foot long, made of wood and covered in cloth? no it has nothing to do with Andre the Giant.(i have to have a wrestling reference in here somewhere. i just cant help myself hehe). give up? so did i actually. thats why the backpocket gift was a myth. back around october of last year, i think it was, someone very dear to me, told me she had something for me in her back pocket. what fits in your back pocket? a piece of paper, pack of gum, maybe some change. time went by, not a lot of time but when someone lives far away, a short time can seem like forever. so time went by, a lot of changes in my life, new jobs, deaths, so much free time that some days i had no clue whether it was monday or friday. yet the creator of the back pocket myth kept checking in on me. days that were good and bad. days that i felt worthless cause i was unemployed. days when i wondered what was the point of everything or anything, when people are so fickle in who they choose to spend a little time on. does anybody stop to think what is the worth of a friend, who asks absolutly nothing of you except how you are, and when you say ok, they ask "no, are you really ok?" know what i mean? how many friends does anyone have like that? if you have one, you really should treat them right. anyway im kind of getting off track here, but bare with me cause i do that from time to time.
 
someone wants to talk to me here but ill be back in a few minutes, you wont know the difference. it’ll seem like i never left.
there see im back already. told you so.
 
now where was i? ok. if you have a friend like that, you better treat them right.
so time and holidays and people passed away, and the myth of the back pocket gift receeded to the back of my mind.
 
until, the day before last, which is honestly not an accurate time line of when im writing this but it’ll have to do. so after spending a little time with a friend, she says i have something for you. in the trunk. wow. myth becomes reality. sometimes the reality of things doesnt measure up to the myth. not this time. reality surpassed the myth. made by hand, something you would never expect. something that made all the clues, when you finally see it and hold it in your hands, make sense. im not usually speechless. most of the time i have lots to say, i just choose not to say it. it takes something to render me speechless. now the truely terrible part of something like this is when you dont know what to say so you say something anyway. something like "i am really gonna have to think hard and be creative to outdo you on this one" ahhh like it was a game of one up manship. yep. kicking my own ass for the rest of the night. i deserved those pointy boots i was wearing. oh well. theres an apology here between the lines of what im writing.
so there was an awkward feeling on my part, which i have felt once before, where it seemed like something else was called for, a gesture between two friends. but thinking twice, and for the better i now must conclude, i turned and walked to the house, leaving with not a goodbye, but more of an "ill see you later". and thats the way it should be i think. the better way for things to stay.
so the myth became reality, and just like summer, she came, and then was gone all too soon. but thats the way things go. acceptance leads to peace. i think i have peace. yet something occured to me which ill say here before i end this long winded story.
once, rain was just water falling from the sky. running down the windows and beating out a gentle pattern that was soothing to fall asleep to. now it has a face and a name attatched to it, and everytime it rains i will have to think of someone far away. but its not a sad feeling. its a rather peaceful one.
one that i can live with.
 
and smile about.
thats it for me.
im overdue for bed.
im out of here.
 
id love to see the pants that you could fit that into your back pocket thou haha.
wherever you may find yourself, may you always find a smile there to greet you too.
sleep well pixie.
goodnight.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Myth of the Back Pocket Gift

Coming Soon!!!!!

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized