Monthly Archives: December 2005

Dream Of The Thief

follow me down
into a dream
everything here
as you want it to be
 
playing at your feet
like a puppy wanting attention
the waves caress you
almost too softly to mention
 
and if you like
you can leave it behind
feel the burning sand
let it clear your mind
 
the wind is singing
a song for you
soft in your ear
as a lover might do
 
brushing the hair
gently from your face
tracing the outline
of perfectly formed grace
 
the clouds in the sky
form shapes in your eyes
of birds on the wing
and balloons on the rise
 
dragons and knights
white horses gallop fast
filling your head
and erasing the past
 
shining in the water
a miracle of nature
waiting for you
to fullfill a simple pleasure
 
a rough sharp edge
holds a beauty to your eye
the white of the shell
imitating clouds in the sky
 
a house on the beach
your home on the sand
a castle built by children
with love passed thru their hands
 
the perfect marriage
two beauties of the day
the sky reflects her eyes
in shades of blue and grey
 
the clouds soft as cotton
like the hair upon her head
raindrops are tears that fall
for everything she’s ever said
 
the water down at her feet
where all things long to be
carries the scent of a far off place
and a little part of me
 
she’s leaving with the sun
the water is turning to tears
only the wind and the sky can follow
and the sand now cools with fear
 
her castle of sand will crumble
her joy was its foundation
existing for her and her alone
its purpose her adultation
 
under bitter snow and ice
a fire for her still burns
sand and water remember her well
and wait for her return
 
the clouds and sky will admit if asked
love her like all the rest
and know their place compared to her
is always second best
 
she’s taking a memory as she goes
for all good things must end
a dream to later be embraced
like a once thought long lost friend
 
off on the hill sitting alone
is where i would love to stay
watching her move in and out of the waves
i could pass the rest of my days
 
it cannot be, my wish is in vain
i let her go to be free
i am but a thief who stole some time
to be with her in a dream
 
i pull the shade down across the scene
as dawn now breaks the night
soon she will awake again
to the bitter winter light
 
my privilege was for a time so short
to see her walk the sand
her image fades and all i have left
is the shell that fell from her hand

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Between The Lines

always watching
never speaking
she’s moving thru a dream of life
 
where hands become shapes
 
they were never meant to be
 
always waiting
unsure of the time
hours turn to days, days to weeks
 
he loves her
 
she knows it
 
always accepting
and overwhelming
motivation that has no explanation
 
one cannot speak
 
the other can’t stop
 
always thinking
forever waiting
both seeking words that will never come
 
i love you
 
i’m over you
 
always searching
forever in the code
trying to see what is not there
 
reading between the lines
 
words invisible, words are deniable
 
feelings are not
 
don’t you wish they were?
 
 

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adventures with coffee

the other day, a couple friends of mine took me to the mall for christmas shopping. being early in the morning and not wanting to be up at that time, coffee was the thing for all three of us. i would have been content to go to Tim Hortons but they wanted me to try another kind of coffee. the expensive kind. turns out i was paying too but thats ok. we get to the counter of this shop and i ask for regular coffee two cream and two sugar. right away i am labeled as a freak for being so plain. my response being that i dont need to bring a list when i order my coffee, the two of them then proceeded to order some double late espresso, al pacino, that you eat with spoon and need a cart to push to one of the little tables off to the side. oh and dont forget the candy cane sprinkles. hmmmm. in my innocence of the ways of the coffee world i then asked why my coffee was black when i asked for two and two. they educated me as to how to put the cream and sugar in myself. now for the tip. what tip? i asked. i have to give a tip and they make me put the cream and sugar in myself?  so i go around to the side and they dont have creamers but open cartons of milk and cream. wow this is service. all to the tune of just under 10 bucks for 1 cup of coffee self serve and two cups of something that looked more like the special from Dairy Queen than caffine beverages.
i guess i just wasnt cut out to be high classed.
merry christmas. im off now to have a cup of no name coffee from Needs. sugar and canned milk. yum.
 

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cliches

remember hearing this when you were a kid? you can do anything you put your mind to. what other cliches can we think of here? good things come to those who wait. things like this i tell my own kids from time to time. and i believe its true for them. and it will remain true until the time comes when they put their mind to a certain something and find no matter how hard they try, no matter what amount of energy and focus they put towards the thing they want to achieve, they find that one certain something to be unachievable.
which leads me back to myself. i have achieved things that i wanted to.they may not be the type of things others find important, and they may not have been the right thing, or good thing for myself, yet, nevertheless i did get what i wanted. i used to say to myself, i always get what i want one way or the other. im sure alot of us have said that to ourselves at certain points in life. just got the job you wanted. set your sights on a certain someone and got them too. really theres only those two things to achieve isnt there? something material or something emotional. i am not too concerned with material. there are very few material things that i am really attatched to. my guitar, a few books, some music. a couple pieces of clothing. if i wanted to im sure i could  do much better for myself in that department. but the ambition for it is not there. as for the emotional, there is a few things there i have achieved also. so you set a goal for yourself and then you set out to achieve it. what causes you to want it is another thing totally. each goal more than likely has a different set of underlying factors that makes you desire something. so you set a goal for yourself and then you try to achieve it. now some might say this is a very selfish way of looking at things. especially when it comes to the emotional aspects. but im not saying for example that i regard all things this way. im just breaking it down into the simplest form that i can think of. so what happens when you do not get what you set out to get. another cliche. if at first you dont succeed, try try again. ok. and if you try try and even put one more try in there and you still dont get what you wanted, what then? never give up. isnt that a cliche too? so whats left in the end for a person who wants to look at things realistically? they give up. admit defeat. face the fact that there are some things that just will not happen no matter what you do. and that is a lonely place to be. at the end of a long day, when you want to sleep and cannot. when you wake up in the morning and not one thing from the day before has brought you any closer to where you wanted to be. the sound of defeat, is laying in bed at night, in the dark, with nothing but the sound of your heart beating in your chest and the thoughts in your head repeating over and over empty words of consolation. you tried. you did your best. there was nothing else you could have done. and finally you give in to them and agree, just so you can have the peace of a fitfull sleep for a few hours. once upon a time, i would have crawled into a bottle and not come out for days. those days are thankfully past for me. i like to think writing about it is a bit more constructive. and i find that i have written more than i thought i would. maybe later on, in a few days or weeks ill write a poem about defeat. but, right now there are no words to describe it properly. its late and i have to get up early this morning.
look on the bright side. hehe. cliches. well, i have found that i can write in another form besides poetry. and i think i needed to. now it will be here for me to look at in the real world. to remind me of what i know that is real and true.
like i said, i have to go to bed. its late. i think ill listen to my heart beat for awhile and then fall asleep.
 
words
undeniable
and unchangeable
can bring all thoughts
not to a happy end
or even an unhappy one
but just to
an undeniable end.
 

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I Think I’m Lost

i think im lost
cant find my way
no words to explain
nothing more to say
 
i watched the sun
coming up today
and i watched it set
in the same old fashioned way
 
yesterday
i thought i heard you speaking
was that you on the corner
of the street
so many people walking and talking
but its never the one
i hope to meet
 
i think im lost
somebody hold up a light
part the shades
light a candle for me tonight
 
ive got a fever
im freezing its so cold
feeling kinda small
and a little bit too old
 
isnt it funny
how things turn out to be
we go on living
never seeing what is real
now im too numb to care
too scared to feel
 
i think im lost
i cant find my way
but ill be here tomorrow
just like i am here today
 
cause the paths we take
and the things we ignore
someday wont be there
to put aside anymore
 
but this cloud over me
seems like its here to stay
and i think im lost
and i cant find my way

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Something

things are not what i thought they were
things are not what they seem
things are becoming clear to me
things are nought but a dream
 
something inside me snapped tonight
something inside broke in two
something inside gave way under me
something inside became true
 
 

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I Am A Memory

I am the water
That floods the river bank in spring
With the potential to bring life
Yet eventually I will recede
 
I am the summer heat
Shimmering off the blacktop
An illusion to the eye
Disappearing the closer you get
 
I am the dust from wheels
Of a car on a dirt road
That you never think twice about
As it fades behind you
 
I am the wind
Bringing a tear to your eye
Strong yet easy to shut out
With a wink and nod
 
I am the leaves
Carried by the wind
Tossed and turned upon itself
My destination unknown even to me
 
I am a fog
Impenetrable to the eye
Yet easily brushed aside
By the wave of an uncaring hand
 
I am the rain
Washing away the dirt of life
Blending into mud
That no one has a use for
 
I am a rainbow
Seen differently by everyone
Vast and beautiful
But fading quickly into the blue
 
I am a ray of light
Coming thru the clouds at sunset
Living to sparkle for a moment in your eye
Before I must bow out to the night
 
I am the foam
On the crest of a wave
I exist till I touch the shore
And then I am gone
 
I am the smoke
From a driftwood fire
Curling up into the sky
floating away like a dream in the morning
 
I am the scent of something
You think you can place
But just before you have it
I am gone again
 
I am the snow flake
Melting as it hits the ground
Always changing
And never the same way twice
 
I am the ice
Making you unsure of your steps
Dangerous at its best
And cracking under pressure
 
I was a thought
That you entertained for a second
Then thought better of
And laughed as you forgot me
 
I will be a memory
Taken out of its shoebox
To be looked at with fondness
And regret that a memory is all I am.

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