learning the hard way

i had a problem with the pc this weekend. had to have the hard drive taken out and all my stuff moved so it could be reformatted. had a bunch of poems on there, something i was working on for a christmas present, and a book also. yes, call me stupid, i didnt back it up anywhere. you always say, oh yeah im gonna do that. yep im gonna get to that. un hun. well i didnt and lost it.

thats learning the hard way.

 

Thought, Reality, and a Dream

I could

If I wanted to

Get on a bus

To some no name place

Become just another

No name face

 

Stand at the road

Stick out my thumb

Ride off somewhere

Maybe theres a no name woman

Waiting for me there

 

Just like I thought

Many times before

Maybe the time will come

Youll wonder where I went

Wonder what Ive done

 

And I will think of you

When the night is fading away

In early morning light

When memories are leaving

Youll still be in my mind

 

As I remember what was

And what was not

All the things I could not see

How innocent you were

And how cruel I could be

 

In a dream you held me from behind

With your arms around me tight

Your head upon my back

And all you could say

If I hold you like this, you cant push me away.

All That’s Left

What is there really left to say

Sitting here alone at the end of the day

Thoughts and words just dont seem right

Theres no way to say them at the end of the night

Every little thing that I thought I knew

Maybe its wrong, am I getting thru

Ill make it easy for you

 

 

Remembering all the good times we had

I couldnt believe they were all that bad

Sometimes I wonder what makes us choose

When you know you cant win you got nothing to lose

No use for tears no time to cry

When all thats left is the last goodbye

Ill make it easy for you

 

Take a look around tell me what you see

There must be a million thats better than me

You want a lot of things that I cant give

The way we’re living aint a way to live

I took a big chance and I rolled the dice

Sometimes the gamble dont work out right

Ill make it easy for you

 

I cant forget you

And I wouldnt try

You know I still love you

And sometimes goodbye

Just dont sound right

 

 

So Ill see you later somewhere down the line

You can think of me a bit from time to time

Just remember the way I made you laugh

Dont think about hearts that are cut in half

Maybe someday youll change your mind

Ill be hanging around until that time

Ill make it easy for you

 

 

 

 

 

Modified

they plucked out my eye to make it the norm
they adjusted my nose to make it perform
they infused me with mesh and metal hoops
they cut out the power to reproduce
for all these things they have done to me
i am still flawed as i will always be
opened the air tight case
and exposed my soul
spiritually incomplete
physically whole

Home Cooking

a little something for Lord Nial. havent we all had a meal like this at one time or another?

 

 

Youre a spoiled piece of pastry

I wish I’d never touched

All that I can say to you

Is thank you very much

 

For all the lies you fed me

That I was more than happy to eat

You served it up with no name class

It was a meal that you couldnt  beat

 

You knew that I was starving when you met me

And you said you’d cook something good

I never thought that it would taste so bitter

I never thought anything ever could

 

I love the way you threw in

All those I love you’s in the pot

How I was the best you ever had

Was the best I ever got

 

Youve made me sick to my stomach

Theres vomit stuck in my throat

Id throw up if you were worth it

So full of hate that I could choke

 

Youre appetizers were tempting

The meal was good till half way thru

The desert was damn revolting

But not half as much as you

 

Youre a tainted salmonella dish

With a distictly seafood smell

I hope your contaminated words of love

In the future serve you well

 

In closing thanks for a lovely meal

Let me leave you with these words

I hope you find someone just like you

And you get what you deserve.

 

 

 

Shadow of the Ghost

We are the shadow of the ghost

Something less than even a phantom

Staring into the mirror

Searching for what we think should be there

Never satisfied with what we find

 

We are the sons and daughters

Misled and abandoned

Through mistake and fault

Forever filled with a want

And a yearning that no one can understand

 

We would drink till our mind is clouded

We would cut till our eyes see reality

Our desire to step off the edge is surpassed

Only by our desire to hear someone say

That they truly love us for what we are

 

We are the writers of a story

To bitter to be read

By eyes that were nutured

With love and sacrifice

That can never be forgotten

 

We are the voices that sing

The song of the soul

Pitiful and yearning in its desire

To find the missing note

That will complete the melody

 

We would have the love we were denied

We would have the hope of a trust unspoken

Our desire to have someone hold us is surpassed

Only by our desire to have someone, anywhere, say,

That they love us, and mean it

 

We pass you on the street

And you are blissfully unaware

When we cry tears of love

And tears of rejection

Into the soft eiderdown

 

That cradles our head

As we ask

Why doesnt someone love me,

Anymore?

 

eddie guerrero 1967-2005

only a wrestling fan is going to appreciate this. wrestlers give up time with their family, put their bodies thru hell usually more than 300 days of the year, not to mention the charities and personal appearances they do which you dont hear about like the Childrens Make A Wish foundation which the WWE has always been very much involved with. the point of all this is i am a huge wrestling fan and have been since i was a kid. so i feel like i lost someone i knew today. he had a wife and 3 daughters aged 14, 9 and 3 years old.  he was only 38 years old. man this friggin sucks. wrestling fans are loyal eddie. to his family, you know we will never forget. we love you man. bye.

Foolish Little Words

A tongue of venom

Broke your heart

You heard a song

But not the last part

 

Was it love?

It still is for you

For the longest time

I thought so too

 

Filling in gaps

With rainbow colored inks

Believing always only

What we want to believe

 

I should not presume

To say that I know

How you feel

Cause Ive been there before

 

Time wounds all heels

Thats what I believe

In hearts and minds

In petty lies and greed

 

If I had magic

If words could weave a spell

I’d lace it with pixie dust

And make it serve you well

 

I’d put my hand

Into the fire for you

Let it cleanse the pain

As only it can do

 

Watch you rise up

Into the sun

A rebuilt spitfire

Blazing with both guns

 

But funny little words

Strung together on the page

Cant express feelings

Of loneliness thats aged

 

Like over ripe fruit

Ready to burst

Meant to be consumed with love

Ending up as something worse

 

The mouth is a slave

To the lonely heart

Bribed to say things

Better kept in the dark

 

Pushing to fill in

A black hole of void

Where a flower once grew

And the thoughtless destroyed

 

To replace whats gone

I would grow a vine

And raise it up with water

From the tears that I’ve cried

 

Let it form a net

All round your heart

So as never again anything

Could break it apart

 

Send out a warning

Shes in my care

Have caution in your step

If you dare to tread here

 

Foolish little words

Does not a white knight make

Neither do they fill the void

Of a heart about to break

 

Lost for words

And meaning to the end

How can you sooth

The heart of a friend

 

Foolish little words

Is the best I can do

So I put them here for you to see

And offer them to you

 

If magic is real

If a spell can be cast

Then with my heart

I give first and last

 

May your next love

Caress you, with his every spoken word

And give you at last

What you’ve always deserved

 

 

 

 

The Deep End

Theres a whiff of your perfume in this cigarette smoke

Something I remember from once before long ago

In a bar downtown under dimly lit night

The haze was clearly not the only thing

Fogging up my mind

 

So many lonely so many in need

Just to think of it could bring anyone to their knees

What are we looking for

Always wanting so much more

Yet keeping it all locked up inside

 

She sat down beside me and she gave me the eye

I didnt ask any questions cause that wouldnt be right

A drowning man never asks for water

We tend to forget every woman we see

Is just someone elses daughter

 

Times running out and its too easy to see

For everyone else whos got someplace to be

That this game isnt worth playing

Do you know what Im saying

How can you answer when you dont know the question

 

So youre standing on the edge of something you cant believe

Just like millions before you so ready to recieve

Going off the deep end

You used to be my good friend

But I dont know you anymore

 

Is that a tear there in your eye

From the dust of days gone by

When you said I love you

And nobody heard through

The screaming in the front room

 

Leave it all behind you like a vapor trail across the moon

We’ll all be gone to soon

Theres no need

To increase your speed

When youre going off the deep end.

 

 

Calling

Show me the way

Light this dark room

Open the door

Unlock the tomb

 

My heart has been closed

For years now gone by

Show me the way

If you help I will try

 

I dont need to know

The answers to all

The problems I have

Whether big or small

 

Just set a light

In the window for me

Bright enough

That I will see

 

Open my eyes

Now closed for so long

Enter my heart

Fill me with song

 

I dont know your name

And I really dont care

But someone told me

If I asked, you’d be there

 

So here I am asking

Will you answer me now

Show me the way

Cause I sure dont know how

 

You sent me a voice

You gave me these words

It wouldnt make sense

If you never heard

 

Teach me with patience

What I need to be

Release my heart

God set me free