Monthly Archives: October 2005

Worthless Guilt Unresolved

Little one, standing by the door
Just out of sight
But never out of mind
What is she waiting for?
 
The things you say today
Will not be forgotten
They will be strengthened
Or weakened by your words
 
Utterences of thoughtlessness
And the measurement of time
A careless sideways glance
Shatters the mind of the young
 
Stupidity is multiplied
By the number of years of neglect
Unsaid words pile up like dishes in a sink
Half dried laundry, molding from want of a home
 
Constantly there in body
But never there in mind
Dreaming things that have as much chance
As pigs on the wing
 
Words do not a father make
Actions prove the parent
They slip away like days in the year
And holidays mean less than a kind word from you
 
Terrible blue eyed beast of loneliness
More fearsome than the color green
Eating away at the soul
With the promise of safety forever in the background
 
I saw you once upon a time
Tasting salt in the air
Floating with my immortality
While i found sanctuary in the burning of my soles
 
The darkness calls to me
With the mountains of promise
And if I should heed the call
I fear I shall never return
 
All sanity faded from sight
On a clear morning
In the form of red rectangles fading in the distance
And your carbon feeding the trees
 
I am a bad man
Cut from a bad cloth
The green runs in my blood
Like fire water madness ran in his
 
Your destiny is your own is the argument
Can you be so misguided
That you cannot see
The most important thing of all
 
Little one standing
Just out of sight
Waiting for the answers
To questions yet to be formed
 
Shame on you to think such thoughts
You must have died on the table
In the farmer’s castle so many years ago
And you just dont know it yet.
 
 
 
 
 
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I Walk a Lonely Road

i walk a lonely road
held fast to the side
by commitment and duty
while the cars speed by
 
a road with beginning
and with an end
the start too far back
and the end too far ahead
 
afraid to stick out my thumb
cause someone might stop
thinking me good company
and share what they’ve got
 
the fields and farms
and small towns in between
the faces of the people
mean nothing to me
 
once upon a time
someone stopped and said
where are you going
do you need a ride my friend
 
on a rough road
we travelled together
the headlights cut the night
and wipers beat back the weather
 
we couldnt see the road
and the curves up ahead
the road we travelled
in the end was dead
 
that was a long time ago
and i walk like before
never again to open
another car door
 
once since then
a car passed me by
i leveled my thumb
she drove fast, and i cried
 
i walk a lonely road
forever looking back
wondering why
she would pass me like that
 
i know some directions
and i could give advice
of the curves and the danger
the rain, snow or ice
 
but she drove and i walk
now forever on this track
waiting and watching
for her car to come back

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The Purpose of the Wind

as i hear the early morning call
of cold and dying breeze of fall
 
let this wind that chills me now
serve a purpose she would never allow
 
carry to her what she cannot see
a gentle kiss to her from me
 
feather brush upon her cheek
not to disturb her dreams now deep
 
but only to say im thinking of you
let the wind carry now what i cannot do

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Reincarnate

Darkness

Nothingness

Black

No desire to go back

Quite and total peace.

 

Then light which made the emptiness cease.

 

Imagine your eyes never to be shut

A silver colored web

Encircles the earth

Where all that came before

Wait for the calling to return

To what they once knew.

Caught in the web

Like an image reflected in a mirror

Like a fly who waits for release

I waited, without knowledge

Of before or after

Waited for the call to return

To the love I left behind

To the one I left to soon.

What a cruel fate

To carry with you

Into the beyond

The desire for

Something you can never have again.

The web breaks

And I fall

Back into a vessel

I know nothing about

And would have no knowledge

Without me.

Somewhere you have carried on

With your life

All the promises we have made

Forgotten with the passage of time

You will not know me

If you pass me on the street.

And I may not know you

But love is eternal

And I am the proof

Which cannot be proven.

I am the fact

Which no one will believe.

I am,

Once again.

Someday we will be together

As we were before

Before the silver web

And the empty, nothingness

Darkness

Black.

 

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Jealous of Everything(the other side of love says)

i am jealous of the sheets
upon your bed
for they are closer to you
than i shall ever be
 
i am jealous of  the sun
that caresses your face
in the morning
for it does what i can never do
 
i am jealous of the water
that washes your body
for it touches you
where i may never touch
 
i am jealous of the clothes
that softly cover you
for they do
what i long to do
 
i am jealous of the food
that passes between your lips
for it goes where
i may never go
 
i am jealous of the work
that occupys your mind
for it does just that
and i do not
 
i am jealous of the things
your eyes set upon
for they are on them
and not on me
 
i am jealous of the goals
you have to fulfill
for i am not
to be found on the list
 
i am jealous of the very
air that surrounds you
cause it is with you always
and i am not
 
i am jealous of all the things
that i am not
yet i love you
because
despite all this
you have accepted me for what i am
 
and i am jealous.

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The Things Love Says

Love says I will stand by you

I will not judge you

Love says I will share with you

I will not hold back from you

Love says I will give to you

I will not demand from you

Love says I will trust you

I will not test you

Love says I will show you

I will not conceal from you

Love says I will respect you

I will not degrade you

 

And sometimes love says

I adored you before I even knew your name

But I never took you for granted.

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Puddle Jumping

climbing out of bed
and into a coffee cup
rain falls
happiness is a splash in a puddle
you keep jumping
but it never lasts as long
as you would like
 
push and try to knock me down
its the little things
that can make you so happy
like the thought of you
jumping a puddle
the rain touchs everything
but it cant touch you
 
tell me again
the things you want to do
pigs can fly
and you can swim
in a puddle if you try
run and jump and laugh
and get me all wet
 
they can see a sadness
in the eyes
no one else can see
water running down the face
a substitute for tears that are
too stubborn to leave their home
i believe but i think you do not
 
i wish you were here.

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