Monthly Archives: September 2005

tell them now

is there someone youve been thinking about? someone you care about? someone you love? a friend, your brother, sister, son or daughter? boy/girlfriend? your mom or dad? havent seen them for awhile? dont wait. go see them. call them. send them an email. message them. cause someday they wont be there. or maybe they will be but they wont remember you anymore. tell them now how you feel. take it from one who knows from past experience. and is about to know again.

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laughing, crying and what to do

well i just finished watching Byte This on and i laughed till i cried. if youre into wrestling at all, go watch Matt Stryker on Byte This. you wont be disappointed. the guy is hilarious.
now you find connections in the strangest places. stryker was talking about how WWE was his dream job and these were his words: dreams are things that keep us alive, and it sounds cliche but, you wake up one day and youre 49 years old and you say i shoulda, coulda, woulda, and you drag your feet to a job you hate everyday. you got to love what you do. you got to wake up in the morning, and be happy you can touch someone’s life, and have your life touched by somebody. i think you can see it when you see me, im just having an absolute blast.
now i dont believe in coincidence. i believe that things happen for a reason. i heard that for a reason. and since i cant give you my own opinion Pixie, ill give you that one. you make of it what you will and i hope it helps you out, when my hands are tied and i cannot. cause what kind of a person would i be if i went back on what i said and put my feelings over your well being with my opinion? not a very good person i think. and  i wouldnt be your friend would I?

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Larmes sur la Rue

i think i hurt my head trying to write this lol
Je l’ai passée sur la rue
Et j’ai pensé que c’était vous
En second lieu que j’ai été rempli avec joie
Comme un enfant encore j’étais
Mais naturellement ce n’était pas vous
Et il y a aucun nous
Et tous j’ai laissés
Est les larmes
Pour ce qui ne sera jamais

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The Truth

Always on my mind
I think about you all the time
At the lowest low and highest high
I know and yet I know not why
Inside my heart and in my soul
Only with you do I feel whole
I miss you more than I let you know
It broke my heart to let you go
You can’t fill me with material things
I’ll only find peace in what love brings
Happiness is a shadow outside my door
It knocks but I don’t hear it anymore
I cannot believe that love is wrong
Spoken in words or sung in a song
All I believe is what truth can do
The truth of three words, I love you.

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Random Thoughts Through the Filter of My Mind

im the demon in your ear

the one that causes fear

self loathing and doubt

 i cant wait to get out

 im the feeling you get

with the one you just met

 my they seem nice

 they talked to me twice

 maybe thats the one

 seems like such fun


 am i good enough for what i want

 will i succeed

do i deserve

what i need

 is it necessity

or is it greed


im the one you tell

when things aren’t going well

the one whos there

when you feel you dont care

im the truth you dont want to admit

that lives inside and you in it

the choice you have to make

the one thats makes your heart break

the love you have and refuse to give

the sorrow that takes your will to live



happiness does not equal a home

a lover does not equal love

tears do not equal sadness

words do not equal actions

Freedom does not mean you are free

when you are chained by your feelings

to what will never be.

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Moon Over Bourbon Street

Moon Over Bourbon Street. this is Louie’s song by Sting. dont know if you’ve ever heard it, but i think it would be something you would love, it made me want to read more about the vampires. hope you like it and that it plays for you.
 listen close for the howl at the end hehe.
There’s a moon over bourbon street tonight
I see faces as they pass beneath the pale lamplight
I’ve no choice but to follow that call
The bright lights, the people, and the moon and all
I pray everyday to be strong
For I know what I do must be wrong
Oh you’ll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While there’s a moon over bourbon street

It was many years ago that I became what I am
I was trapped in this life like an innocent lamb
Now I can only show my face at noon
And you’ll only see me walking by the light of the moon
The brim of my hat hides the eye of a beast
I’ve the face of a sinner but the hands of a priest
Oh you’ll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While there’s a moon over bourbon street

She walks everyday through the streets of new orleans
She’s innocent and young from a family of means
I have stood many times outside her window at night
To struggle with my instinct in the pale moon light
How could I be this way when I pray to God above
I must love what I destroy and destroy the thing I love
Oh you’ll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While there’s a moon over bourbon street

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Lost in the Sea

Wading out into the water
And I cant see the ground below
Each step so uncertain
So much yet to know
Im terrifed of what is waiting
I used to know how to swim
But that was so long ago
Will it come back to me again
People floating by and waving
Enjoying their precious time
Bathed in the reflection
Basking in the light
Looking in the water
I see things I cant describe
Beautiful and wonderous things
That make me feel alive
Sometimes drops fall from the pools
Precious diamonds to be caught
Clouds that show up in the background
Remind me of what I havent got
Happiness and pain
And friendship and loneliness
Glimmers of hope and wonder
Sparkle like dew of a morning mist
And on the horizion
So far off I can see
A ship in the distance
With someone waving to me
I’m looking for a lifeboat
Calling and no one hears the cries
Surrounded for miles in a green wonderland
Lost in the sea of your eyes

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for Lynne

well this is the third time i try to write something here. but in the end… i got nothing. well not nothing, just not the right words to say what should be said. hmmm let me take a break and have a bite to eat.
well thats done. sept 18. someones special day. i dont know what to say really. not the usual for me. guess ill just be honest. bears and trinkets and such dont say what it really is. and youre right. its not about material things. i hope you are surrounded by friends and family today, that never once a sad thought crosses your mind, and that every day you wake up is better than the day before. and what the hell. you might as well get some nice stuff on top of it. i hope you have the best friggin birthday anyone ever had ever.

happy birthday Lynne.
thanks for being there
thanks for showing you care
thanks for everything you do
thanks for being you
thanks for wondering. it means something to me.

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Driving Into the Sun

something simple, before bed.
Time after time
I write out the lines
Hoping this will be the one
And tomorrow it’s true
I’ll be thinking of you
As I drive into the morning sun
    Going home can be hard sometimes
    When you know there’s nobody there
    But it’s nice to know
    Where ever I go
    There’s someone like you who cares
Day after day
Time slips away
Hope today will be the one
And today like before
I’ll be loving you more
As I drive into the morning sun
    Wonder what you’re gonna find
    At the end of your road, looking behind
    Wonder if you’ll ever see
    What there could have been between
    You and me…
Year after year
I’ll keep you near
You can always know that you’re the one
Here in my mind
It will be our time
As I drive into the morning sun
    Going home sometimes can be such a chore
    When there’s nobody to hold your hand
    But it’s easier when
    You think of a friend
    Someone you know you can count on then…
Time after time
I write out the lines
Hoping this will be the one
And maybe you’ll be
Thinking of me
As I drive into the morning sun.

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A Sickly Sweet Kind of Love

if this is any good at all, i wish i could take all the credit for it but i cant.  a very dear person helped me write this. If you knew her, you would strain for words too, always trying to do better than the last time. i really dont know why she’s my friend, but im blessed for it all the more so.
These are the things we say
The thoughts we live with everyday
Walking across eggshells trying to find
A safe place to rest on the other side
Giving it all, holding so much back
And always feeling under attack
Rejecting the things we could hold dear
And wanting always what will never be near
Hold open wide your perpetual wound
Bath it in the light of the moon
Diana Artemis take away the pain
Put me back together again
Theres a sickly sweet taste in my mouth
Thats comes with desire, longing and doubt
A taste that you seem to know of too
And I swear I dont wish the same upon you
Painful and wonderful at the same time
And always in the back of your mind
Its torture to know and hell to be in
And you cant turn it off when the feeling begins
The difference between you and me
Is I cant see what you see
What I thought, how you would react
In so many ways set me back
No shunning of my thoughts from you
Or ridicule as so many would do
But a gentle word, and womanly grace
All given with a smile upon your face
I cannot bear the thought you feel pain
I would shoulder it for you, time and again
The more you say the more I learn
When you are hurt, my anger burns
You amaze me with the things you say
And the mountains you climb everyday
They think that you will slip and fall
But in the end you stun them all
All these things that I feared before
Has only made me love you more
But if i could make you happy i would
Even anothers love I would give you if I could
For that is what you mean to me
And no matter what I say youll never see
And you will never understand
What it meant one time to touch your hand
Diana Artemis watch over you
And keep you safe as I long to do
With a little bear and a diamond L
A talisman to serve you well
Close your eyes and dream so sweet
Maybe somewhere there we’ll meet
Where I will see you safely through
On till the morning wakens you
Rise my love the world is yours
Your servants await to fill their chores
Artemis must now step out of the way
Goddess Athena does rise on this day.

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