Monthly Archives: July 2005

Something I Said in a Dream

Every word that falls from your lips is important to someone.
 
Important to me.

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you ever get the feeling?

you ever get the feeling, you just want to run away? just for a day. just leave it all behind. telephones and people and responsibilities. no you dont need to know where im going. you just go. once i could do that. i miss it. now its either work or home. i used to just jump in the car and go. didnt matter where. you found out when you got there. my mind is heavy and so are my eyes. goodnight.
 

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A Crack in the Armor

I can feel it in me
I thought it was gone
Forgotten long ago
Like the lyrics of a song
 
I can feel it when I see you
And my legs start to shake
And my insides knot up
The earth cracks in your wake
 
Electric shock
When I hear your voice
You force me to listen
I havent got a choice
 
You found a crack
In the armor I wear
You make me weak
You make me care
 
I have no words
Biting my lip
At the thought of the curve
Of your perfect hip
 
I built high walls
Behind which to hide
How did you ever
Find your way inside
 
And now that you’re here
I can’t take the chance
Of telling and losing you
When I’ve found you at last
 
So I weld the armor
And hope it will hold
But your words still get through
And wring out my soul
 
If you would but ask
I would give you any thing
A pauper’s treasure
A tinfoil ring
 
A white flowered dress
Makes me a broken king
And the last laughs on me
Cause you don’t suspect a thing.

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Is that really how you feel?/Don’t think too much

Someone told me the other day, that they were worried about me because of the things I write on here. She said
"you’re always talking about the same thing. love you can’t have and love that goes unreturned. Is that really how you feel?" and of course being me, I laughed instead of really thinking about it.  my answer was yes, i guess i do write about that alot. but it fascinates me. the old story of love unreturned and the hopelessness of wanting what you can never have. it never gets old. who hasnt had a friend or been in the position themselves where they love someone that they know will never love them back. no matter what you say to consol them, what advice you give, you just can’t help very much. and you cant help but feel a little sorry for them too. of course it gets old after awhile, and even your bestest friend will eventually say, "ive had enough. i wash my hands of the whole thing."
now whats the point of all this? well I dont know really but that has never stopped me before. but i have come to one realization. if i had as much balls as i would like to pretend i have, i wouldnt write about things. id do things. i would at least try. something always stops me. insecurity maybe? worried about what people think, what they might think. whether its right or wrong. i guess the conclusion i come to in writing this is that we bring our misery upon ourselves most times. but old habits are hard to break. and sometimes they feel safe. and thats a sorry reality for more of us than we would care to admit.
someone else told me not to think too much. guess i just screwed that eh. lol
 
 
in the end, heres something i wrote a long time ago. it might not seem like much but it still holds truth for me.

Look at me

I am just what I am

I dont have much to hide

Im sure you already know everything I feel inside

But if I told you what I think

Would you laugh at me?

No pity

But a little bit of courtesy

For as I feel this way about you

You must have once felt like this about someone too.

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Ooooo

today was hard. had a headache by the end of the shift. raining so i couldnt bike home had to take a cab. more money. wrestling now in about 15 minutes. chance to forget about everything. yahoo. also my rent is going up, so that sucks. other than that, what is there to say? thats me yelling there. Oooooooo. lol there feeling better now. thats what they should have at work. a screaming room. not a quite room. you go in there and scream your lungs out and blow off steam. i bet i could knock down some walls. lol

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Learning how to spell

Someone informed me that I was spelling the word "maybe" wrong. well i looked it up and guess what…. i was.
but in my defense, maybe is on the list of the most commonly misspelled words. so there lol

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What is Glaukopis?

Glaukopis is another name for a Greek goddess. Look it up sometime if you get the chance. kind of interesting stuff.

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